CS Disscussion // Computer Love

Soooo, recently, I had joined a an online dating service...

Pretty lame huh? LOL. To my defense, I was honestly curious on what the big hoopla was about. You see all the eHarmony & match.com commercials, everyone been in e-love for years and marry, live happily ever after. Hell, even D-rated actress Essence Atkins met her husband on there! Really for me the driving point was realizing that almost 3 years after my divorce, I had not dated. I don't think I'm not attractive or anything, but me being a single parent of 3, full-time working and don't really get to go out and meet folks, my time is pretty limited. So I hopped on the site and did some research to see how to make it work.

Honey! I was instantly turned off by the PRICE, I ain't gonna lie. LOL! But I guess you can't put a "price" on happiness, so I bit the bullet. Next hurdle: the questionnaire. When I tell you that thang was thorough, man! I see why I haven't been dating, I didn't know I needed to ask all them questions! Finally after I press through literally 100+ questions, I get to the good stuff, them mens!!!...Or so I thought. LMAO. I could go and see and "flirt" with guys, but I wanted to see what type of guys I would attract. And just what I thought, the next day I had an inbox filled with dorks. Really, old local dorks. *le sigh*

 To make an already long story short, I only perused the site for a good 2 days. I just didn't put the necessary energy into and didn't like the fact that I felt like I was stalking folks profiles or they were preying on me. I see what the appeal of dating sites are, but it was definitely not for me. I need the physical interaction. And I especially don't want to be matched up with some database that decides what's "good" for me.

Online dating: I'll pass.

What do you all think about online dating?

Hear My Call // Jill Scott

If you can't feel what Jill is emoting from her raw emotions in this video...I don't even know what to say. This song is so humbling and echos my own sentiment about opening up to love. One cannot help but get emotional upon hearing and seeing her earnest cry. And the simplicity of the video drives makes it all so cohesive. Hands down my fav on the new "The Light of the Sun".

What are your thoughts on Jill's new release?

CS Discussion: For the Love of Facebook

Am I the only one in the world that doesn't take Facebook that serious? 

A little while ago, I ran across a status update (with 29 comments) that stated "Should I be mad when someone unfriends me?"  

My initial thought was "who the eff cares if someone unfriends you?"  But then, it hit me, maybe some people do actually take Facebook THAT serious... Hmmm... 

Besides that status, I find myself smh more and more at some of the things and topics I see on FB.  Some status post are becoming so detailed that I can almost tell you what a person is doing this weekend, who they're currently in love with, and weeks later, wait for the break up and drunken nights to follow.

(Don't judge me but) I didnt see The Social Network, however, I recall when Facebook was created, it was a networking tool, that at first only created for college students (waaay back when I was in college).  So, how did it become peoples personal diaries?  How did people become so addicted to this site that they become offended when a person, that they probably NEVER talk to, unfriends them? 

Currently, I have to admit, that I log into Facebook faithfully because I'm still deployed.  However, when I return home, the first thing I'm going to do (when I get to some good innanet) is purge some of those "never talk to, still living at home with your momma, hustling on the side, can't stand my hataz" friends, and then deactivate my account at least until the New Year.  When I return to the Book in January 2012, I plan on using it for its intended purpose.. say it with me.. NETWORKING!

Will people ever realize that sharing too much of your business on Facebook makes you look ummm..... (CS you can fill in the blank here).  When will people stop putting all of their hopes and joys into the number of "friends" they have on FB? 

CS, we want to know, what's your "Relationship Status" with Facebook?

~Cash

Special Shoutout: The Anonymous Comment

Yes, we do special shout outs! 


Apparently, my last Playing Dress Up post, hit a soft spot.  I received an anonymous comment which stated: "WHAT KIND OF CHURCH DO YOU GO TO, THIS FIT IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE."

Disclaimer: Trust me, I'm not mad at all.  I just literally had these random thoughts from that one comment. (y'all should know that I have a bunch of randomness running through my head)  :~)


Here are my issues that came from YOUR comment:
1. The post had nothing to do with my church.  Next time, try sticking to the subject.
2. What kind of church do you go to?
3. So, did you like the outfit or not?  Lol.. Yes, I noticed you clicked Simply Bore, but was that toward my "church" or the outfit? Serious question.. I want to know.
5. How about next time we stick to constructive criticism instead of random put downs?
6. Maybe you should reconsider the church YOU attend, if any... just a suggestion.
7.  Can you please explain why this outfit is "totally inappropriate" for a church event, not a regular Sunday morning service.
8.  You brought up a completely different topic, but didn't even answer my photo shop question that I put in the post!!     
9.  If I was attending this Sweetheart's Ball at a club or something would you have liked the outfit then?
10.  Oh, and last but most definitely not least, the below picture is just for you! 

I'll be ordering this one soon!  And guess what, I promise to do a What I Wore post on it, just for Anonymous!  God bless!

For more JCLU items, click HERE.

~Cash

Random Thought // Nelson Mandela

Having a grievance or a resentment is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy.

 

Random Thoughts // Maya Angelou

"If you have done the best you can do and if you have gotten all you could extract from something -- you have given all you had to give. Then the time has come when you can do no more than say thank you and move on."

 - Maya Angelou

CS Discussion // I'll Be Moving On.. But When?

Earlier this week while browsing through one of my favorite "work" blogs because the gubment hasn't blocked it yet, I ran across a post that singer, Monica and her man friend, Shannon Brown are now engaged. Congrats to the happy couple! *side eye*

*takes deep breath* I will say, without saying, that I'm going through some major life changes right now. As stated in the Randomness At Best post, I've done a lot of growing up in the past couple of weeks. And quite frankely, I'm feeling real "Nina Moseley-never-make-the-same-mistake-twice-ish" right about now.

After reading the article on Monica, it made me think: what exactly is considered too soon when getting involved again. When will it be too soon to do whatever it is I may want to do. (LOL, yeah I'm really "beating around the bush" on this one, huh? But you can follow right?). I don't know what all went down between Monica and what his face, nor do I care, but from my point of view, it seems like she moved really fast with this Shannon guy. It seems just like yesterday she was happy and in love on her reality show, and now she's at this point.

Honestly, I can't even take the thought of jumping, so soon, into another relationship after getting out of such a long term relationship. How do you give someone so much of your life and jump, skip, hop, fall in love, so quickly after its over? (Yeah, I been watching a lot of LoveJones lately)

So, here are the questions that ran through my head:

Why so soon?
Aren't you scared that his "evils" may be worst than the last?
When do you say, "Ok, I'm ready to move on"?
Did you grow in your time alone?
Did you change your "standards" with the new guy?

Ugh... I could go on and on.. those are only a few questions, but quite frankly...(at a lost for words here) I just don't know.. I just had to get that off my chest.

Let me know what you think CS, by leaving a comment below!

POWER!

Another great article from Yahoo! Finance: 7 Ways to Gain Power at Work.

Initially, I thought to myself, I can't use these because I'm in the AF. With the rank structure, these steps surely won't work.. but, as I read through, I realized just how real they were!

"People love power. Not because people are evil, but because power means survival. Every human relationship involves power in some way, and we are all hardwired to gravitate to, and want, power. Even you."

This quote stood out to me because I think it's so true. Whether we know it or not, people want some sort of power over the different situations that occur in our lives, even when we're not in the "controlling" position. Do you understand what I'm getting at?

Here's my example: Right now, I'm in a postion at work that I really do not particularly like. Before I came to my base, someone of a much higher pay grade above me randomly chose my name to fill this position. Of course, its only natural for one to throw BF's over it, so I did, over and over again. Just recently, I came to the realization that I'm stuck in the job, so I need and have to get over it. However, being the optimistic person I am, I'm going with the "must be meant for me" option. Decided to take my job one day at a time without complaining. (this to me, is my way of having power over the situation). In doing that, I've realized just how much free time I have on my hands; being able to focus on other things while still at work. Also, because I work directly for a higher ranking person, this position will be great for my career progression, especially if I use some of the tools that are applicable to me and my job.

The 7 Ways to Gain Power are:

1. Power based on who you know.
2. Power based on what you know.
3. Power based on love.
4. Power based on admiration.
5. Power based on fear.
6. Power based on wealth.
7. Power based on position.

Click HERE to read the complete article.

And just because the song fits the topic so well, I thought I'd throw a lil KanYeezy in there for you! I love Kanye and Dwele! These two together could take over the world!

"No one man should have all that POWER!" ~Kanye

CS Discussion // Taking Care of Yourself

The other day, I was having a hair chat with one of my co-workers that turned into something so much deeper (y'all know I think too much).

The conversation started off with her complimenting me on "keeping my hair up" (as in still curling it because its now relaxed). So, I go on to explain to her about how I was basically bored with my mini fro and needed to be able to play with my hair. You know, switching it up every now and then, because clearly, I get bored easily. She says to me "girl, you see I don't do anything to mine? I don't have any time.. I have a husband and 2 babies!" And of course I reply back (with a smile on my face) "Well, I have a husband and a baby too, so what does that mean?"

We talked for another few minutes about being married and "not" being able to do stuff because of our lives... Needless to say, the conversation didn't really go anywhere.

*insert a hard, HUUUHHHH and a rolls eyes here*

Here are a few things that ran through my little head:

1. Did she lose herself because she's married or because she has small children to care for?

2. Could it be her husband? I won't go to deep with this, but she's a black female married to a white male. So maybe, he feels she doesn't need to do "all of that".. I don't know? It's just a thought..

3. As a working mom myself, why doesn't she understand she deserves a little "me" time? A little time to beautify herself?

4. Just because you're in the military doesn't mean you can't play with your hair. I've always had short hair, but I always switch it up! I mean a part on the side or middle.. pulled back, tucked behind the ears, one side flipped.. the possibilities are endless!

There are so many subtopics that could have come from the conversation, so I'll end it here. I could go on and on about the questions in my head! LOL! Let this be known,though: working or not, single or married, kids or not, I think all women should look their best when they are outside of their homes. Lord knows my husband would have a fit if I left the house looking the way SOME people do! Its not even about him, though, its about myself! I always want to look the best, even when I'm in uniform! #imjustsayin

Let me know what your thoughts are by leaving a comment below.

CS Musical Dissertation // Tennessee

Where are the horseshoes?!?

(Chorus) 

"Take me to another place, Take me to another land
Make me forget all that hurts me, Let me understand your plan"

Man, this song takes me back to 1992. That year our family reunion and it was in the great state of TN. So you already know this song was in heavy rotation. Just hearing the first bars of it remind me of backyard cookouts, lemonade out of glass jars and sitting around listening to stories with my great-great grandfather of the days when the turn of the century just occurred and the changes there were for black folk.

A few days ago it came on the radio while I was cleaning the car, and just taking time to LISTEN to the words had me ponder on the depth that it goes into. Arrested Development, man the songwriting is awesome.  The lyrics that hits home the most are these:

"Where the ghost of childhood haunts me
Walk the roads my forefathers walked
Climbed the trees my forefathers hung from
Ask those trees for all their wisdom"

Damn.

I know at the time I was too young to get the whole jist of the message, but my goodness, this song is so spiritual and just full of meaning. It made me appreciate it even that much more. Made me appreciate those talks with my great-great about how he'd seen almost a century of change, pain, power & glory that had been bestowed upon our people as a whole.

I urge you to take a moment and let yourself be taken to Tennessee...

CS Discussion: When Does Responsibility End?

With all the hoopla around this Montana Fishburne going on, I wanted to take a min to see what the CS family thinks about it. Just from the reporting, it seems as if this is HER conscious choice and she's pretty pleased with what she's doing. Also, there is speculation that her father, actor Lawrence Fishburne, (Morpheus!!!) has not been in contact with her for a while due to him not supporting her lazy lifestyle anymore. He's also been catching a lot of flack for what people say is a direct result of bad parenting. Either way, I know its got to be hard for Lawrence Fishburne to see his daughter go from this:

To "international" porn star:

But my question to you all is this: When does responsibility for the parents end and the child take accountability for their actions?  Do you blame the father & mother for not giving her enough hugs and stories at night, or is she considered an adult and on her own with this choice?? (Or would you re-enact your best Ike Turner impression and beat her like a rented mule???)

Let us know what you think CS!

CS Discussion: Right, Wrong or Who Cares?

When the news first broke about Swiss Beats and Alicia Keys' relationship, I didn't know how to feel about it. One reason was because rumors were circulating that he was still married to his wife, and number two, I honestly thought that Alicia was an undercover BQ...(Butch Queen). My disagreement wasn't the fact that they were together, but at times I felt that b/c it was Alicia this situation was taken lightly at times as if no one had any other responsibilities that were left unresolved.

My question is, what kind of message is she sending to all of her fans, do they look at her differently now? Is it right to think that she is a home wrecker, or should we still look at her as the same sweet Alicia Keys, and just say that they fell in love in unforeseen circumstances that could not have been stopped or handled in a different way? What message is this sending to married couples? Before these two, people were already stepping out and leaving their significant others for someone they thought was their soul mate, but now that Swiss Beats and Alicia's relationship is all over the place will this now become more of a trend then what is was before, and will people just look the other way?

What will this do to the sanctity of marriage, will people just look at it as another type of heartache that they won't want to go through? CS fam, tell me what you think? Don't hold back, as a married woman this is just something that was on my mind, I'm not judging them, I honestly wish them nothing but the best and pray that all that they have gone through has been worth it.

-Pooh